Hot Choco-chat: Dougie Dan the Elf

In a variation on our usual ’Tea Break’ feature, we join a local for a hot beverage break and find out how he spends his time - and time off. This week, we welcome Dougie, one of Santa’s helpers.

Please introduce yourself...

I’m Dougie Dan, one of Santa’s rep-resentatives on the Western Isles. My job is to keep an eye on all the little boys and girls and report back to the boss. I also help out with important pre-Christmas duties such as (ahem) acquiring creels and advising Chris S on the type and location of new Christmas lights – without my guidance he has a tendency to go a little bit Disney.

Have the Harris children been good enough this year?

Most children on Harris are fairly polite and well behaved. However, I have heard reports of gossiping after curfew on the Abernethy and Scaladale trips, discarding sweet wrappers on the Harris FC bus and (gasp) some disappointingly unenthusiastic cheering at school inter-house events, so I’m afraid there may be peat in a few stockings come Christmas morning.

Did you say peat?

Sadly, coal is too expensive for Santa to transport to Harris, so we use peat instead. Our North Pole researchers recently discovered that peat cutting releases environmentally unfriendly carbon, so that’s going to stop soon. From next year onwards, naughty children will get sea potatoes.

How are the Christmas preparations going?

I’ve been busy helping Santa at events like the HVS Christmas Fayre, the Library Grotto and Leverburgh’s Festive Fun day. Normally, Santa surprises children on occasions like this by sneaking in through a hole in the roof or a wonky heating pipe. With all the plans for fancy hall renovations in Scalpay and Leverburgh, I am worried about how we’re going to get in and out next year. A front door entry is sooo Grinchy, but ‘When Santa got stuck up the Air Source Heat Pump’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

What do you do in the spring and summer?

I work part-time for the Comhairle in the Elf and Safety Department and keep sheep and Highland cows on my croft on the Clisham – all that snow on the rock shelves helps me to feel at home.

Santa’s original reindeer are approaching retirement age, so I’ve been training my livestock for sleigh-pulling duties. The Highlanders have magnificent antlerish horns, but they’re on the lazy side, so I think my blackface sheep are better suited to the job.

They are very enthusiastic about the running and taking off part, but we need to ask Santa for a sprinkling of magic dust, so they launch themselves up into the sky, instead of down into the sea.

It's tea break time. What are you having?

First, I’ll need to get the boss’s order. He was hoping to get his mittens on a bottle of Harris FC Hearach whisky, but apparently, they’ve sold out, so it’ll be mulled gin for him and a Deli hot chocolate with extra whipped cream for me. Did you know that I was the inspiration for their new elf-belt cup design?